Sunday 15 February 2015

Restless Spring



Well, hello. Yes, I know, it's been a while. And really, it isn't spring at all, just yet. But this morning, as I sit here at the dining room table, enjoying a cup of coffee with Jim as we listen to Just a Minute on Radio 4, the sun is blazing through the window, and there are green shoots thrusting above the soil outside.


Another manifestation of early spring is this feeling of restlessness which has taken up residence inside me since the turn of the New Year.  The seasons change. There is political change in the air - I live in hope that there may be some new Green Shoots on our political landscape (see what I did there???). World-wide there is unrest.... perhaps nothing new there, but there do seem to be signs of a new engagement by people who are beyond tired and dissatisfied with the status quo and sickened of the rich and powerful riding roughshod over the disenfranchised, and the resultant poverty which is so avoidable if the world were a fairer, kinder place.


                                     Garlic braving the snow and ice earlier this year.

My own sense of restlessness is rather more amorphous; just that feeling that I can't quite put my finger on. Something waiting to happen, maybe. Some decision to make. A new direction to take. Additionally, there is an element of anxiety about this restlessness. Again, nothing that I can pin-point. But it is sometimes not a comfortable feeling.


                                                 Happier looking garlic this morning.

Mum falling over while trying to get her arm through the sleeve of her cardigan  - you couldn't make it up, could you - and breaking her wrist quite badly. She is in plaster (or rather resin, these days) and annoyed that it is hampering her independent mobility because she can't use her zimmer frame. But she rather enjoyed the trips to the hospital with me. Even, I suspect, the tragi-comedy of three medical staff manipulating her fracture while I wrestled with the gas and air on the other side, and mum struggled with her dentures and the gas and air pipe. Yes, we even laugh about that now. This event has rather brought back all the trauma of last year when she broke her hip, and the subsequent sad leaving of her home and going into residential care. It never pays to be complacent, and even though she is - in her own words - in a safe place, she can still do herself damage. It was noticeable, during the hours I spent in A/E, how many women my age were there supporting an elderly, injured parent.

So, I hope I haven't depressed you all with my meanderings. I'm not depressed. I'm just .... in waiting, I guess. Hopefully when whatever it is arrives , or occurs, it will be a GOOD THING!

30 comments:

  1. Sending both you and your mum love and hugs x

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    1. Hello Josie - thanks for popping by! And for your kind wishes.

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  2. I'm the same at the moment, so desperate am I for something light, tasty and green to eat that I have just sown two punnet's of mixed cress, radish, lettuce and broccoli seeds. I think feeling like you do probably might relate to your mother a little as looking after a parent, whether they are in a home or still at home, can give you a stronger sense of your own mortality. Also how easily dependence can be taken away. Hopefully more sunny days and a warm Spring might help lift you a little.xx

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    1. I hope so, Dc. Now then, when you say sowed two pun nets - do you mean outdoors or indoors? I'm looking forward to getting my square footer going.

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    2. I saved two cress containers when I last bought some, put some damp kitchen roll in the bottom then sowed on top. I water every day and usually in 2 weeks get a crop.

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    3. Thanks Dc, of course, that would be what you would do! I was getting ahead of myself thinking of outside sowing.

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  3. Lovely to see you Lynne and thank you for your lovely comment on my last post. I suspect many of us have those restless feelings at this time of the year. I wonder if it's a case of seeing the back of our cold damp weather and just waiting with anticipation for the Spring to pop it's head around the corner. I was sorry to hear about your Mum and I do hope she is not in too much pain. Wish her well and hope your spirits lift soon. Take care. P x

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    1. Hi Patricia, Mum is fine, she is in no pain, just fed up! I don't know - I've never had this feeling at spring before, it's different. Just ride it out I guess. Not down, just....restless! Lx

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  4. Sorry to hear about your mum.We may be at the beginning of the journey with hubby's parents, who are getting frail now and falling over etc.
    As you know already I would heartily agree with your comments about the political scene. I've given up watching T.V. as I find it too depressing!
    Hopefully you can take each day at a time and weather the feelings of restlessness.
    Best wishes Fliss x

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    1. Thanks Fliss, yes, I should stop shouting at the TV! And a day at a time is what I aim for - to no great success! I hope you find solutions and support with your in-laws, it is not an easy journey. Lx

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  5. Hi Lynne. I agree with your sentiments in your post. There is much unrest all around. I hope your Mum heals quickly and things settle a little. The garden is on the verge of springing into action and that always helps. Take care X

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    1. Hi Ali, thanks for popping in! Yes, it seems to be a general feeling doesn't it? But the new shoots certainly help! Lxx

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  6. Ohhhh dear, all the best with your Mum !

    (yeah some change in politics ... greener, more equaly devided ... sigh
    not complaining ! : we live in a rich country)

    And NO it was not a mouse ;-)

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    1. Aha! So I didn't win the prize this week with my wrong guess! Never mind Els, I'm sure all will be revealed soon! Lx

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  7. Everyone I know is feeling a little down in the dumps and wondering where the time is going. But, did you have the warm sunshine today? Smiles on peoples faces, washing on the line, new shoots rising from the ground. I'm sending you some positive thoughts. Chel x ps thanks for your comment on my blog, you must tell me more about Nell, no doubt we have rubbed shoulders :-)

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    1. Hi Chel, yes today was lovely, hence the sunny photos to contrast with the earlier ones. I'm not exact;y feeling negative, just this unexplainable, uncomfortable feeling. Nell makes frequent accompanied visits to London which she loves, and takes some incredible photographs, when she has time , as she works despite her health problems. She amazes me with her photography and textile work. Lx

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  8. I understand that feeling of restlessness, a slight niggle at the back of the mind that something is going to happen made worse by not knowing whether it will be a positive or negative something. Hope it's the former obviously. And so sorry to hear about your Mum, scary how easy bones break as we age isn't it, something I am all too aware of having osteoporosis! Still, chins up old thing, the forecast is for brilliant sunshine tomorrow!

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    1. Hi Edwina. Yes, the anxiety element is an old familiar friend (!) but this is different, it is more of an expectation plus dissatisfaction... I have no idea where it comes from. Have to wait and see how it pans out. Yes, osteoporosis is frightening to contemplate, I always fear slipping on ice and breaking a hip! And yes, we could do with a return to the sunshine, we lost it today where I live! Lx

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  9. Your Garlic is further on than mine. Mine is hardly breaking the soil. your home looks so cozy

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    1. Hi Sol, my garlic went in in November, apart from the little clump at the back of the sunny photo - they were planted about 18 months ago but I lost them and missed cropping them! They have just come up this year!.Lx

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  10. Doing care for parents can be taxing. But you sure miss it when it's gone. Before my mom had to go into nursing home she had an alert necklace we got for emergencies. Several times she slid out of bed to go to the restroom and would just keep on sliding to the floor in a sitting position. She would then press the button on the devise and the ambulance/EMT's would come and they always worried about breaks so took her to hospital while calling me to meet them there. Once they called me and said they were ready to load her up and she was very upset and wanted them to get me before they took her. I left work and raced over and asked her what was wrong. She had her hand over her mouth and whispered to me to go in the house and get her teeth! She didn't want "boys" to see her without her teeth! I miss her...

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    1. Hi Linda - yes, my mum had one of those , I did several middle of the night call-outs when she slid off the bed after getting up in the night. Always pulled down the duvet to keep herself warm, then sat patiently for me to arrive. The last one was 3am. NOT a good time to be woken up! I shook with shock and tiredness all the way to hers in the car.

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  11. I'm in much the same place with both my parents ... Mum keeps falling, usually on to her face, and dad is looking at a dementia dignosis ... hugs sista x

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  12. Good Morning Lynne, I am very sorry to hear about your Mum and hope that she mends quickly. I've gone through helping my Momma after she became too old to be left alone. It takes a lot of patience and there are times when you have to drop everything to be there for them . . . but it is good that you can be there. The day before I lost my Momma ( I was leaving her little nursing facility apartment to go home) she reached out and took my hand and told me that I was such a sweet daughter and that she appreciated the good care I took of her. The next morning she died. Those words were the very best inheritance I could even have gotten. Since Momma didn't have anything to give it was my only inheritance, but I would not trade it for a truck load of gold. You are a sweet daughter and your Mum loves the dickens out of every bone in your body. That's the good news . . . but you knew that already. Here's hoping that whatever is lurking around the corner for you will be an overwhelming joy :)
    Have a great day . . . put on a smile, even if you have to fake it.
    Connie :)

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    1. Dear Connie, thank you for your lovely comment. I do indeed know how much Mum loves me, she tells me very time I see her, She feels she has lived too long, bless her, she always said 90 would be just enough years and now of course she will be 93 in April, and does no longer have the kind of life she would choose for herself. The worst thing is she can no longer read - she lived for her books! She won't have audio books - I have tried! Anyway, we take it a day at a time, and there are always things to look forward to. Thank you again.Lxxxxxxx

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  13. This winter seems to be too long! I'm hibernating..... Some days looks very bright, but oh, so cold. I have been away twice since the new year, and heading away again in a couple of days time, seems to help with the restlessness, need to find my mojo again.... Hope your feeling a bit better since you wrote this post :-)
    Sue x

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    1. Hi Sue, yes, another really sunny morning on this side of the county, but oh so cold! I don't blame you for using any excuse to get away to some warmth - have a good time! I'm still struggling with my mojo - like you, it comes and goes. But bearing up, there is always music!Lxx

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  14. I hope this lovely Spring day is making you feel bright Lynne, it's beautiful here today. Sorry to hear about your Mum's break, I hope the healing doesn't take too long.

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    1. Hi Jay - long time no see! Yes, it's lovely here today too, and I'm feeling a bit better - still touched with anxiety though for no particular reason. Mum has the cast off now and is back to normal. (!!) Lxx

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